Midnight of the Mind

from the film, "Jarhead"
A story. A man fires a rifle for many years... and he goes to war. And afterwards he comes home, and he sees that whatever else he may do with his hands - build a house, love a woman, change his son's diaper - his hands will always remember the rifle.

MY future car

We first saw these in Holland, during our trip in the Spring of 2001. We immediately fell in love with the style and of course the size of it. I don't believe that they are legal in the U.S. just yet, but we are hoping for one soon.

A Wild Perfection

I went through a difficult time last April. The amount of stress was unbelievable. As a result, I got rid of about half of my library just because I had the impulse to have something change. I regret it now with all my heart. One of the many books that I got rid of and later regretted was A Wild Perfection: The Letters of James Wright. When I found that book, I immediately thought I could really learn something from it. I remember sitting in a comfortable chair at the bookstore and reading the first few pages. I immediately felt something towards James Wright’s work even though I didn’t know his poetry at the time. The more I read, the more it seemed that it would be a book that would make a difference in my life and in my writing. So why in the name of heaven did I get rid of the book? Like I said, it was an impulse thing I couldn’t explain then as I can’t explain now. The most outstanding thing was that through the confusion I was experiencing at the time, I seemed to have forgotten James Wright’s name so I couldn’t find the book without the title. I did a search on Amazon.com and came up with 23,000 hits. It was on the first page of the search that I saw the cover of the book and the title. I was so happy I let out a yell in the middle of class (my students were working quietly on a task).

Another thing all together different… you should check out 37days. The website is kept by a writer, Patricia Digh. She is full of wonderful advice and insightful entries. I love reading this blog! She issued a challenge today: try and concentrate on one specific thing for the next 37 days. So I have decided to put pen to paper on my Moleskine and see what comes of it. I think I should also try and sit down and add an entry every day to this blog. I wonder what would come of that itself. Perhaps I will try it.

The Life of Pi

Something totally bizarre occurred to me today.  I was thinking about reincarnation and about living out the same live over and over again, as in a large circle.  It occurred to me that if indeed that is the case, and heaven or hell or whatever else we might believe is total nonsense then the circle might well be explained by Pi.  Yes, Pi might just be the answer to the enigma of where we go once we are “dead.”  I don’t know the specifics because I am not a mathematician but this came to me today in a moment of reflection and I can’t explain it completely just now because I need to give it a little more thought.  The thing is that based on string theory we could—at least theoretically—bend time so as to break the lineal constraints of it.  If indeed we are capable of doing this, then the lineal pattern of life (point a to point b to point c) could be represented in an oval, hence the idea of Pi.  Imagine the possibilities if this happened without our control!  Paranormal experiences (i.e. ghosts) would be a thing of the past (no pun intended).  Seeing a “ghost” could very well be explained by a bend in the time/space continuum; two lines bended and intersecting at a specific moment by chance.  It is all happening at the same time, you see!  Don’t give this too much thought, really… that seems to be my job this weekend.

Marcus Aurelius

I decided to stay at my desk. Even though I have not written a word in over two weeks, I cannot stay away from my desk. It feels different now that this is my home, not an apartment. My books are now on the bookshelves and everything is coming into place. I often sit and meditate about the day, about my work and its new demands, and about how the presumptions of the few can alter the way the many do things. It is not a pessimistic view, it is basically the observation that for whatever intent we have to not let others bother us we always remain attached to some part of their deconstructive criticism.

I have been reading a biography of Marcus Aurelius by one Anthony Birley. The volume refers quite a lot to the “Meditations,” and it does so with reason. So far the book has dealt with Marcus Aurelius relationship with Fronto, his teacher. I have just gotten to the part where Pius dies and Marcus takes over the Empire. It is strange how so few people know that Lucius Commodus was also bi-emperor at the same time as Marcus. They ruled together, although Marcus was pontifex maximus and Lucius was just a pontifex. At any rate, Birley has done a good job of putting the biography together with great scholarly and very sound research while at the same time making it entertaining and candid. It is also funny that I got this book at Barnes and Noble (from the Barnes and Noble Press) for $6.95 but looking online found it for $35.00. I guess the whole argument about the mega-stores is out the window for me. Although I do not recommend Barnes and Nobles or Borders to people if I happen to know of a local independent store I could direct them to, I used to buy quite a bit from Borders and Barnes and Noble. But back to Birley. I am sure that I probably will change this entry later, since I am not even halfway through the book, but so far I highly recommend it.

The Move is Done...

I haven’t been able to write anything here because of the moved this past weekend.  We are still living off boxes and it is starting to get on my nerves.  I suppose that eventually all things will fall into place but right now everything seems like a disaster inside the house.  Other than that all is well.  The house is quiet at night and our neighbors are good.  I have to get to the lawn this weekend because it is growing fast.  Oh, and we bought new bedroom furniture and need to pick it up this weekend.  That’s been my week, really, nothing more.